i was just browsing through jiemei blog once again, though its kinda "dead". but its still interesting to see the descriptions of all the jiemeis as seen from shan's eyes.
when i saw my description, i guess it brings the view of myself into a new light once again.
innocent and easy to be bullied.
and brings me back to something that someone or many people have said before that i have always seen the best side of people.
thinking of that, it feels kinda sad and weird to be thought of in that manner. innocent. maybe its juz a self portrayal that others see of me. easy to be bullied. i think its the other way round. and regarding seeing the best side of people, i guess this has brought me more bad than good. it has turned into obstacles for me in getting out of many situations.
maybe being innocent is not something bad after all. at least i can say things frankly to people that i think should have been said, especially my close friend, even though i didnt know where i got the courage from. probably i just didn't want to lose another closely knit friendship. have been losing too many stuff over the past few years.
actually i m not looking forward to this week at all, because it brings back memories of things which could have been avoided, things that make me feel that if time could have been turned back, things shouldn't have been done that way. i dont feel the importance of that occasion anymore... at least for now. and i have lost something really important.
yes. regrets. but we can't do anything about regrets. and there's no point putting the burden of the regrets on anyone now or in the future. and even if you could have done something previously, it might not have changed the outcome whatsoever. believe in that, and maybe it wont feel that hard.
suddenly just feel v tired. i guess my life has been too packed for a period of time, which i am not too sure myself whether i am really that busy or i have packed it purposely. i need a break. maybe i should try just staying home for one whole weekend. just like today. it felt good.
so looking forward to the weekend where i can just stay home to rot! =)
when i saw my description, i guess it brings the view of myself into a new light once again.
innocent and easy to be bullied.
and brings me back to something that someone or many people have said before that i have always seen the best side of people.
thinking of that, it feels kinda sad and weird to be thought of in that manner. innocent. maybe its juz a self portrayal that others see of me. easy to be bullied. i think its the other way round. and regarding seeing the best side of people, i guess this has brought me more bad than good. it has turned into obstacles for me in getting out of many situations.
maybe being innocent is not something bad after all. at least i can say things frankly to people that i think should have been said, especially my close friend, even though i didnt know where i got the courage from. probably i just didn't want to lose another closely knit friendship. have been losing too many stuff over the past few years.
actually i m not looking forward to this week at all, because it brings back memories of things which could have been avoided, things that make me feel that if time could have been turned back, things shouldn't have been done that way. i dont feel the importance of that occasion anymore... at least for now. and i have lost something really important.
yes. regrets. but we can't do anything about regrets. and there's no point putting the burden of the regrets on anyone now or in the future. and even if you could have done something previously, it might not have changed the outcome whatsoever. believe in that, and maybe it wont feel that hard.
suddenly just feel v tired. i guess my life has been too packed for a period of time, which i am not too sure myself whether i am really that busy or i have packed it purposely. i need a break. maybe i should try just staying home for one whole weekend. just like today. it felt good.
so looking forward to the weekend where i can just stay home to rot! =)
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